Siti Hajar Muhd Salleh
1994-2009
That sweet smile she always have on her face.
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She was a bright girl.
Observant, vigilant and gigglish.
Kita membesar sama15, having each other side by side.
She would come over to my house every evening,
riding her bike, ringing the doorbell of my house.
I would open the door with a smile on my face.
Being 7 years old was easy and carefree kan?
.
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I remember that time,
We call ourselves the Sitis.
I was Siti1 and she was Siti2.
We were one of a kind punya pair.
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masa kita sembahyang zohor dekat bilik solat rumah,
bila bagi salam akhir pon,
nak syncronized.
Lepas sembahyang ketawa sama15.
.
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Setiap hari Sabtu, Mama akan buat tution English untuk my friends dekat neighbourhood tu.
She and me would recite all our tenses together.
Eyeing each other with mischievious glints in our eyes.
Thinking about games apa yg kte nak main kjap lagi.
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And then during play time,
with Barbies in our hands,
She would talk animatedly from time to time,
stories of adventures and loves would be told between the two of us.
Kadang15 main Barbie sampai tertido15...
.
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Hari Maulidurasul or Hari Raya,
kita akan jalan sama15,
pakai baju pon sama.
jalan seblahseblah.
macam dunia ni kita berdua yg punya..
.
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Bila pergi rumah nenek belakang rumah Siti Hajar,
I would whisper her name,
calling out to her,
and there she was,
waving frantically at me.
.
with that sweet smile always
.
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Life is unpredictable.
After I finished Sekolah Kebangsaan, 2006,
we decided to beli rumah dekat Larkin.
Rumah dekat Pasir Gudang became our Weekend House.
Makin jarang jumpa Siti Hajar.
After she had finished her UPSR, she moved to Putrajaya to study there.
Makin x jumpa.
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Last Monday,
Dad woke me up,
saying that dia dapat news,
"Siti Hajar sakit tenat, jom pergi hospital."
My sisters and me woke up hurriedly.
Baru hari Khamis lepas bebwal pasal Siti Hajar, wondering how is she doing..
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I don't know what to expect.
It's been 4 years since I've seen her.
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There she was,
lying on the hospital bed in the Intensive Care Unit.
Supported by life-saving machines.
She'd just had a brain surgery.
Fighting for her life.
She was in a coma.
I stood at the doorway.
speechless.
.
Walking towards her,
I held her hands.
merah...macam tangan orang yang sihat.
She flinched as a response.
mata dia terbuka sikit.
That was the only response she could manage.
.
Ya Allah, my throat sakit, my heart felt wrenched sgt.
"Siti hajar... cepat sembuh yea... nanti kita boleh main samasama lagi..."
were the only words I managed to whisper at her ears as I caress her forehead.
I know she's listening.
yakin sangat yg die taw that this is her childhood friend yg ckp.
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I was certain she'll get well soon.
I even told Dad,
"Die kuat, ct yakin die boleh sembuh."
We all had the same expectation.
.
Dalam my kepala, I'd set nak tgk dia lagi nanti.
We have 4 years of experiences to talk about..
What's more, die baru habis PMR,
and she got straight A's for her PMR result...
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Besok nya, 29/12/09, Papa kejot pagipagi lagi.
"Siti, Siti Hajar da meninggal."
Doctor kata, da x boleh nak bwat apa.
Even though da bagi antibiotic yang paling kuat,
da keluarkan air yang bertakung dalam brain dia,
da buat macam macam,
The virus had attacked the brain's main system and the spinals of her body.
Doctor pon ada cakap, that benda ni da lama, cuma Siti Hajar lawan penyakit tu.
Now she just can't hold on any longer.
.
If you experience this kind of situation, what would you do?
Knowing that a close friend of yours is no longer around..
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I know I had to put on a brave face.
I wasn't crying at all.
Even though people around me are grieving.
Not until, I held her cold arm and kissed her forehead.
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I don't care even though, I was the one yang paling kuat nangis masa tu.
sometimes even though macamane kita try nak jadi brave, try taknak nangis, try jadi kuat,
kte akan jatuh juga.
Cos kita cuma humans.
xkurang dan xlebih.
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I hugged her small body for the last time,
knowing that this would be my last chance.
my dear friend..
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Terima Kasih Siti Hajar.
God loves you more.
You'll always be a part of me.
I'm happy that, even though da 4 tahun x jmpe,
during your last few breaths,
I get to be at your side.
I love you.
There she is, in that pink cap, standing beside me, with that smile..
we were singing westlife songs together..
Masa ni, would I know that her years are numbered?
.Al-Fatihah.